Are We There Yet?

Sometimes I hate living out here in the country. I love everything about it except for the strain it puts on my relationships. I’m about an hour away from everyone and everyone seems to think that I should be the one to drive all the way up there EVERY TIME. It’s just aggravating when people don’t know how or choose not to reciprocate common decency.

You ever have one if those days where you’re just mad for no reason and everyone gets on your last damn nerve? That’s me today and I don’t like myself right now!

Plus I’m stressed about packing everything and making sure I get everything in order for an over night trip Ro and I are having to my friends house tomorrow.

And I’m stressed that I bought markdown potatoes that I was going to cook with today but I never did cause I don’t have the right pot so now they’re gonna sprout everywhere ( does that mean they’re rotten!? Idk) and I won’t be able to use them. And I’ll have to go buy more.

It’s just been a stressful day over nothing.

So I just typed this really long post explaining that we can no longer live in our apt because there’s toxic levels of mold everywhere

and then the internet went to shit and it didn’t post.

so long story short we’re temporarily homeless

and al out belongings are contaminated due to the mold that may be toxic.

All my babies clothes are molded over. All of this happened in the past 48 hours. Thats how intense and aggressive the mold is. Its taking everything over in a short amount of time.

so yeah

stressing so hard

Gong to an extended stay hotel for a few nights and when my mom gets back in town, we’ll stay with her some more

and i work in the am

ugh and I called out today because of everything and i had some bitch at work give me attitude about it when i stopped in today after damn near having a fucking asthma attack from being in the apt for 30 minutes. 

so she can go die

but yeah

more to come

Sunday is such a stressful day

It’s probably the busiest-no definitely the busiest day of my week. I open on Sunday so I’m up at 4:30, and I’m off at 2. Once I’m off I have to go home, let the dogs out and feed them, gather my laundry, change out of my stinky work clothes, pack Ro a bag for the rest of the day with all her foods and clothes and toys, and then once all that is done I leave my house. I go to meet Dre to pick up Ro (in raleigh this week, but Wake forest last week) which takes about 20 minutes to an hour depending on where I’m getting her from and what time I leave. I’m really bad about catching the rush hour traffic. Once I get her, we then make the hour trip to Goldston where my mom lives, which is 15 minutes outside of Sanford. Once we’re there we have dinner with her and my step-dad and I do my laundry. We normall stay until about 9 or so. I then make the more reasonable trip back to Cary which is about 30-45 minutes. Once we’re home, Ro is 99% of the time asleep. If she’s up it’s because she woke up when I brought her in the house. By this point it’s anywhere from 10 to 10:30. I take the dogs out and finally sit down and relax at home for a little bit before showering and doing household chores and making sure ro’s bag is packed for tomorrow for when I take her to Elise. I usully go to bed around 11:30 or 12:30. Thankfully, I don’t have to work on monday until 11 am. So I don’t have to wake up until 9:45-10.

But yeah. and i’m still not in bed.

So freakin tired

Paid the deposits, verified my income, walked the apartment, set up new water and electricity accounts, signed the lease, had lunch with Ro’s older sister, dropped Ro off, picked up boxes and moving supplies, and now I’m making dinner. PHEW! I’m exhausted!! And I still have to use my “free time” from Ro to pack everything up…

THen tomorrow it’s get Ro, get the apartment keys, go to a fantastic baby shower, go drop off some already packed boxes at the new apartment, try and find people to help me move (oh boy…:(), maybe drop Ro off at my moms house for an overnight and then try and pack more stuff.

Also, I forgot to eat anything today so I feel like I’m going to fall over and die.

So dinner will be hella comfort food.

My fucking anxiety.

I have really bad anxiety, and becasue of it I always clench my jaw and hold my shoulders super tight. Well it all catches up with me eventually I guess because every now and then (more like once to twice a week) I have these terrible muscle spasms.

I mean terrible.

Like, I would rather give birth naturally once a month than deal with these.

But of course, I can’t bargain with my anxiety. So last night I made the mistake of gong bowling in some college town while Ro was at her dads house. I HATE being in large groups of my peers, so idk WHYYYY the fuck I thought this would be cool. I hated it and had this lie, anxiety meltdown internally (I was just quiet and a boob. I’m pretty sure everyone thought I was gonna go jump off a bridge, especially since I met half the people there for the first time that night) and so I left after less than an hour. I couldn’t stand it.

Steph and I went to this large community baby resale thing and I got a ton of stuff (2 pack and plays, a beautiful wood vanity, a bumbo tray, 8 playtex Ventaire bottles, 5 sippy cups in various stages and brands, toddler plater and silverware, Carter’s onsies, 2 dresses, a bunch of toys for the carseat and just for her, and some odds and ends all for $103.00) and then went back over to her moms house and had a lovely dinner Afterwards my interntions were to go straight home and relax while I was baby free (this was at about 7) and then I got the call from Teresa.

And Alex, my best friend who’s back from PA after 2 years was gonna be there, and some of Teresa’s (who’s been my close friend for over 5 years now) roomates were going to be there as well so I thought it would be fun. I was wrong.

So then I drove home, put stuff away, and from 11pm to 4 am had 4 back spasms, the last one lasting 2 and a half hours.

So now I’m off to Massage Envy. My mom is a member and has a free massage voucher I can use.

Plus the exe is already stressing me the fuck out. I’m so tired of this shit!!!