A Birth Story

Rowan was born on December 14th, 2011 at 8:37 am. She was 7lbs 12 oz and 20 and one half inches long.

Ro was due December 17th and was scheduled to be induced on December 18th. (not because anything was wrong when we scheduled it, but because my doctor doesn’t like for pregnant women to go over 40 weeks, and I very much agreed with him!)

I had an appointment that monday, the 12th I believe, early that morning. I felt fine, other than being a blimp and having some dry-eye issues, which are very normal from what I had heard. The only thing that struck me was when they took my blood pressure, it was 136 over 80. That’s higher than normal for me, cause I normally stay at 110 over 70. We ( my mom and I) went into our room and when the doctor came in he confirmed the induction date and ansewred a few of my sillier questions. My mother mentioned my blood pressuer, and he looked at my chart for much longer than normal. He ‘hmmmmmmm’-ed at it for a few seconds and told us that there was protein in my urine as well. He informed me about what pre-eclampsia was and told me I shoudl go to the hospital to have a stress test done. He also asked if I had had and headaches, dizziness, or vision troubles. I told him about my eyes and as it turns out, that was the pre-eclampsia, not just dry eye. Before he let me go, he wanted to check the fluid around the baby. I got an ultrasound and he said there was NONE left. I had no idea. There had been no gushes, no leaks, no extra discharge, NOTHING. He informed us the induction will start as soon as we got to the hospital.

We raced home, gathered my pre-packed bags and checked into the hospital. I was on a IV of Magnesuim, which didn’t do anything but make me drowsy and a little foggy minded. I was put on strict bed rest because when they rechecked my blood pressure a few hours later, it was 186 over 100. I couldn’t have the lights on all the way, stand up, or even sit upright in my bed. They said I needed to be as destressed as possible. This included an extrodinary bedside mannor.

I was checked before any induction meds were given and I was at a 1 and a half, 70% effaced and at a +3. I was given oral doses of Cydotec (a precursor to Pitocin) every four hours. I was also given Stadol (morphines better looking sister that makes you high as hell) for a headache I developed as the pre-eclampisa got worse. I think I got morphine a few times, idk, after a while the IV drips all blended.

The next evening (the 13th) I was checked and was only at a 3. They promised me a baby by tonight or tomorrow morning and I was becoming more and more dissapointed and angry. I even told my best friend not to bother coming that night cause it was going nowhere fast. That night (technically the next morning) at 4:30am I got the Pitocin. At 6 am the shit hit the fan. THE MOST painful contractions IMAGINABLE threw me into a frenzy of moans and very unlady-like words.

I remember feeling SO embarassed, because NONE of the women on A Baby Story ever cried out like this! I must be a pansy! (My mother later informed me those cows weren’t induced and had an epidural if they were.)

Speaking of epidurals.

Mine didn’t work. Yeah, you read that right. It DIDN’T WORK.

I asked for an epidural around 6:30 and got it around 7:15.



More Pain.

Me asking everyone who made eye contact with me “WHY THE FUCK IS IT NOT WORKING? DO IT AGAIN THEN. YOU DID IT WRONG. FUCK THIS!”

I got checked again and I was at an 8. I had a piece of cervix on my right side that was still there, so I was laying on my right side to get it to dissolve. My doc came in, said ‘holy crap, okay…I’m postponing that C-section, I can’t leave.’A few minutes later I felt the urge to push. The urge overcame me and I went with it. The babies heart rate dropped suddenly and they told me I couldn’t do that again. I told them they were idiots if they thought I had any control over myself anymore. So I held my breath when the contraction came so I wouldn’t push.


Oxygen levels dropped, blood pressure went crazy, oxygen masks came out, blah blha blah.

I told them bitches to let me work this.

The nurse went to check me and kinda looked at my crotch funny. The baby’s head was right there.

Told em. Told em.

Within seconds carts came out, the bottom half of my bed snapped off, stirrups came out and blue smocks were being thrown on.

I pushed through 3 contractions, the most intense pressure, burning and pushing ever. The ring of fire was nothing compared to the contractions, so I really didn’t mind it. I recall at one point I stopped pushing completely, sat straight up and just screamed as loudly as I could. Then I calmed the fuck down and went back to pushing. I also recall hearing my mother trying not to laugh over my shoulder. Ro’s head came out with a very comical ‘pop!’ and a half a push later the rest of her came out. They seemed to take forever to rub her and cut the cord. The first words I said were “GIMME!” and when they held her up to give to me “Jesus christ, she’s HUGE.” Of course she wasn’t, but do you know where she just came from!?!? Very large, indeed.

I tore internally so I got sewn up while I poked and rubbed her. The mending took forever, too. I breastfed her and stared at her for about an hour. When I let my vice grip go, they weighed her and actually cleaned her off. So the picture above is her a few hours old, not minutes. I’m a greedy momma.

And that’s how my love boat got here. :)

P.S recovery sucks. I didn’t wear pants or a bra for 2 days. Needless to say only close family was allowed to visit.

  1. narrowerstairs reblogged this from moody-foodies and added:
    Aaaaah I’ve got chills and tears in my eyes!! I am so proud of you Lauren, and I am so sorry that I wasn’t able to see...
  2. moody-foodies posted this